A friend of mine was complaining about that Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter movie on facebook earlier and he was met with a “Well yer just pissed you didn’t think of it” response. Because of that I wrote a brief description of an alternate history story that I felt would be more satisfying than Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
I was actually trying to think of cooler alternate history concepts involving mythical beasts and I came up w/ a movie called Sasquad about a squad of American Big Foot dispatched in the Pacific theater of World War 2. They’re tasked with taking a pod of unknown contents into enemy territory where they encounter Japanese yeti (which according to their folklore, are traditionally psychic.) They clash a few times and the main squatch does some soul searching and pondering the futility of war.Anyway, in the climax, a flying German tank shows up and the shocked cast sees Hitler get out…slumped onto the ground! Hitler is dead! You see Eva Braun chuck Hitler’s body aside and she’s got powers crazier than the PsySquatches (she’s basically Lucifer from Angel Cop.). The JFoots and the AFoots agree to take her down cuz she’s wrecking shit…but they’re helpless against her. Then one of the Squatchmandos has the bright idea to open the pod they’re toting. Bad ass guitar thrashing starts and FDR levitates out of the pod. On the soundtrack, this song would be known as “FDR’s Theme.” Afterwards Eva Braun and FDR have a battle in the sky with their Tetsuo powers. They’re evenly matched.A tear rolls down FDR’s cheek and he whispers “Goodbye” to the squad. The main Japanese yeti shouts “NOOO, BAKAAA!” but it’s too late. FDR grabs Eva Braun and explodes Chiaotzu style. The trees shake. The sky goes black and a crater forms where the two mighty titans once were. Silence sets in. World War 2 is over.